Adjusting to a Surprise Pregnancy
There’s nothing quite like the feeling that your life has stopped. For some people that comes with death in the family, or a career change that has meant that life finally ramps up again, but for others it’s a surprise pregnancy. Whether you are in your 40s and you have just discovered you are pregnant when you thought you were done with your family making plans, or you were a teenager and the condom has split and you are left in a situation of not knowing what to do, adjusting to this is not the easiest thing to do.
In fact it’s not something you have to adjust to at all if you don’t want to. You might find yourself googling abortion pills near me just to be able to come out of the situation in a way that works best for you – and there is no judgement on that. The way you handled the situation is going to be very personal, and nobody out there could tell you what you should and you shouldn’t do. However, coping with the idea of an unexpected or even unwanted pregnancy isn’t straightforward.
If you haven’t already experienced the whirlwind of emotions when that stick turns blue, there is going to be that well went on its way. You might feel like the wind has been knocked out of you because this has changed your life irreversibly no matter what you do. It’s most important for you to understand that you should never allow shame or guilt to overcome you know matter what decision you make. There is no guilt to be had in becoming pregnant when you didn’t plan for it and there’s no shame in the consequences as a result. Here are some of the ways that can help you to adjust to the idea.
- Get some counseling. It’s important that you speak to somebody who is versed in pregnancy, and one of the best ways to cope with a surprise pregnancy is to talk to somebody professional. You need somebody objective and not somebody who is going to react with emotions. Planned Parenthood, for example, has health educators who are objective and trained in helping women to cope with a surprise pregnancy. You need to talk about your choices with somebody who doesn’t have an agenda on you especially if you are unsure about what to do. Often, personal feelings are tainted with the love that people have for you and while that’s lovely it’s not going to help you to be objective about this decision.
- Gather a support network. No matter what you decide to do you need to have people around you that you can connect with who can be compassionate and supportive. If termination is the option you decide to go with, you need to have counseling because a lot of women feel like they’re not supposed to grieve because they’ve made this decision. Grief is part of the process, and nobody comes to this decision lightly. You need to be able to have people around you to support you in whatever you choose, but at the end of the day you have to pick the decision that’s absolutely right for you and nobody else.
- Talk to others in your position. If you are currently single, talk to other single mothers. Many women who have a baby picture the baby in all of its pink and lovely cuteness, but they don’t picture themselves with the baby and that’s often a problem. Parenting is hard. Pregnancy is hard. And so many people won’t tell the truth because of all the loveliness that comes out of having a baby eventually. You need to be prepared for this if you decide to walk down this route especially if it’s a route that you didn’t plan.
- Give yourself some grace. No matter what your decision is on this matter, you have to give yourself Grace and permission to do what’s best for you and the baby. It’s nice to hear other people’s experiences and it’s nice to get the opinions of those around you, but in the end it’s you that this directly affects. Your body is going to be changed forever, and your feelings and your hearts are always going to be affected by this. Having a baby right now may not be in your best interest, only you will know if that’s the case. It’s okay to make a decision that other people may not agree with because they are not the ones walking in your shoes.