What Does Your Choice of Beverage Say About You?

The choices we make define who we are.

 

Hang on; that’s possibly a bit serious. I’m going to try again.

 

The choices we make when choosing alcohol show who we are.

 

That’s a bit better. This is our choice of alcohol we’re talking about, not our political stances. Let’s keep it light.

 

Even in an era where we understand that that masculinity can be toxic, we would still raise an eyebrow at a man ordering a white wine spritzer. The same goes for the polite, pearl-wearing older lady asking for the biggest glass of beer that’s going. We still make these judgments – but have you ever thought of the things reflect on you? Want to peek behind the curtain and see what others think of your decisions on your chosen tipple?

 

With the Christmas party season in full flow, it’s a timely point to ponder this question. Is it going to reveal the mysteries of the universe? No, unless the truth really is found at the bottom of an empty bottle. Is it a nice diversion from worrying about other things, and a chance for us all to be a little bit judgmental? Yes, yes it is.

 

Well, I’m judgmental enough for the both of us, so here’s what I’m thinking if you order any of the following…

 

A Soft Drink or Water

 

You’re driving and/or a recovering alcoholic. For those who don’t drink alcohol by choice and failed their driving test, this can be endlessly annoying. They spend a lot of time rolling their eyes at their fellow guests and explaining, in depth, their choices. Maybe they’d lighten up if they had a drink?

 

Brandy

 

You’re a 65-year-old former sailor in the body of someone else. You probably say “arrr” like a pirate – no, not those ones –  when no one else is around.

 

Light Beer

 

You have no imagination and also apparently hate your taste buds.

 

Guinness

 

You’re actually Irish and want a taste of the homeland. Or – and let’s be realistic, far more likely – your great-Aunt once went to Ireland, and now you feel you have a touch of the Blarney in you or whatever it is. You’re showing off how exotic and charming you are.

 

(Please note, the above does not apply on St Patrick’s Day. That’s right back to “you have no imagination”.)

 

Red Wine

 

You probably know your stuff, are very sophisticated and know a salon is more than just a place to get your hair done. I envy you. Tell me how the world works.

 

White Wine

 

You left your imagination in the minivan and are drinking this while muttering about how you need a break from the kids.

 

White Rum

 

Plus points for knowing rum had shades. Like my reaction to someone drinking red wine but more so. I suspect you have a palette and would describe scents in ways I cannot fathom, but I like the sound of your voice.

 

Alcopops or Mixed Drinks

 

You’re underage. If you’re not underage, you should know better. Why do you insist on doing this to yourself?

 

Sherry

 

Hiya, grandma! How’s it going? So great you’re not dead yet!

 

Whisky / Whiskey

 

You have no right to drink this if you don’t know why the E is sometimes in this word and why it sometimes isn’t. Do you know? Do you?

 

Merry Judgmental Christmas everyone!